A tough question we’ve been struggling with lately is when did our 4 year old stop being the little angel we used to know? Ryley is not a mean spirited child, but she is the wild child. She is the child who has selected listening, can go into whining fits, has a mind of her own, and gets overexcited. She is the child who never sits still. You may ask isn’t this all 4 years olds? Yes; however, our daughter is on auto drive. For a while we were getting a weekly call or note from the teacher listing Ryley’s indiscretions.
However, on the other side of the coin, Ryley is funny, smart, a leader, friends with everyone, and charismatic. All the children run to give her hugs. She is an impulse child. She can go from A to Z quickly whether she is excited or upset.
The question just like in “Sound of Music” is how do you manage Ryley? How do you turn her bottled up energy from negative into positive? For a while, we tried every form of discipline and none seemed to phase her. As a parent and someone with a deep sense of Faith I was struggling with writing for families and their children when I couldn’t even help my own.
Yet, before we tackle the topic of parenting, you should know a little about us. It is true Ryley is spoiled. As older parents who wanted a child for so long – we can overindulge. We also admit we have given Ryley lots of chances when she is bad. We have let her manipulate us with her wise wit and giggles. As discipline goes, I play more of the disciplinarian role than my husband. At times, my frustration can get the best of me. We are not perfect and never expect we ever will be, but know two things for sure; which is we want what is best for Ryley and we never give up trying.
We also believe we are being tested. If we are to be like Jesus, we need to be like Jesus. Of course, being like Jesus is an impossible task. Yet we can learn from his teachings. Even when he was ridiculed, he kept moving forward. He befriended the non-perfect. Having Ryley has taught me a lot about parenthood. My job every day is loving my child for who she is with all of her bumps, scrapes, and imperfections. Parenthood is the hardest and best job any of us will ever have. It is a reminder that none of us will hit the Holy Grail.
Luckily, for us Ryley is becoming more mature and we’re becoming more mature as parents. Lately we’ve partnered better with the teachers, we reiterate at home what they discuss at school such as listen and learn, and we set boundaries with Ryley which has worked. She now knows the rules and there are no chances. The first few nights were brutal, but then the light-bulb turned on. We soon realized our Faith is not based on how we can excel or what others think, but how we can listen and learn to those wiser than us. Those who knew a straw necklace may keep Ryley from unconsciously sucking on her shirt. The day we became wiser was the day we learned a college degree didn’t make us smarter as parents and having Faith alone doesn’t keep you away from the battlefield. We learned you have to hope, trust, pray, and know God will give you the armor and be your guide if you are willing to strip away your pride and listen and learn.
In summary, our angel never left – we just had to appreciate her unique qualities and find a better way for all of us to listen, learn, and fly!
