As my daughter is carrying her Elijah fire picture and memory verse in the car from Sunday school class, my mind starts to wander about the day I’m not around. The day Ryley wants to be with her friends more than me. The day she goes off to college. The day when she starts her own family. What one item of Faith would I want Ryley to know? What one item would I like Ryley to keep in her back pocket?

Well, although important, it wouldn’t be go to church every Sunday, be in the image of God, or to always rely on her Faith. Although, my life would be forever changed if these attributes weren’t part of my DNA, the most critical attribute is Ryley having a relationship with God. In my experience, if you don’t have a relationship you are just going through the motions. It is easy to spot someone following religious rules instead of heart rules. They sing songs, but don’t feel it. They go to church, but never stick around. They are silent about God in public. They cut people off when coming out of the church parking lot. They mock their religious beliefs when peer pressure shows its ugly head.

On the other hand, those who have a relationship know life can still punch them in the gut, but they don’t panic. Their eyes light up when you see them. They are not forced to go to church, but they want to go. Giving back is one of their motivators. They are humble and not prideful. They are not afraid of leaving this Earth.

Without a God relationship, the best image to give is the unabomber of Faith. In simple terms, your Faith and your life at some point becomes a cabin in the woods. Giving up on Faith is isolating and has no community. It saddens me, but many of my friends and family profess their non-belief. They say the image of a guy on a cross is creepy, they don’t believe we are puppets on this Earth listening to a God, they ask how can we believe in something we don’t see, they say aren’t I good enough to go to heaven without having Faith, and they don’t think prayer changes anything. The sad part is many of these people are seekers. They want what they see others have who believe, but their hearts are cold from either a strict religious background or past, depression, anxiety, alcoholism, divorce, etc. They are filled with symptoms instead of remedies. They have book smarts without soul smarts. They want to have complete control and fight the connection.

Now with all of this said, my relationship with God is not always perfect. There are times our relationship is put on the backburner– I ignore it, am moody with it, don’t nurture it, and take it for granted. However, just like I am with my daughter, God always seems to give me one more chance.

So if I were to guide Ryley on this journey of life – it would be to have God as your best friend. A best friend who you can laugh with, scream with, and be sad with. A friend who knows you better than you know yourself. A friend who you can royally mess up with, but will allow you to return again.

The question is how do we have this type of relationship? We can’t go to a movie theater and talk to an open seat without someone wanting to commit us into an insane asylum. When I’ve asked others how do you talk or build a relationship with God – I have heard responses such as quiet time reading the Bible, journaling to God, painting or dancing with God, meditating and enjoying nature, etc. In my own journey, the important part is the connection part. A sermon at church once said – you don’t want to be at the gates of Heaven when God says who are you? It’s like a marriage or any other type of relationship. If you don’t nurture the relationship – the relationship will wilt and die.

So again, my biggest wish for Ryley is she has this relationship with God because if you have this connection I believe God will lead you, you will be able to be in his image, and you will rely on your faith. The connection with God is what your child will put in their back pocket when you’re not around. If you wonder how you give them this tool – I am not an expert carpenter, but what we’re doing as a family is modeling our faith with Ryley everyday from praying, reading a bible verse, discussing how God has blessed us, and letting her ask questions. We don’t just follow the rules and the motions.

In the end, no parent wants their child disconnected in a cabin in the woods wondering if they can conquer the world on their own. My hope is she has the relationship with God to help guide her through all of life’s twists and turns.