Recently I read an article headlined “Debating the Legalization of Child Euthanasia” and like most of you it wasn’t an article my conscious wanted to read, but it was an article I couldn’t put down. For a minute, my body reacted – my throat was dry, my muscles tensed, and my body stayed still. It surely wasn’t dinner table talk; however, it was an important topic which couldn’t be ignored especially since I remember the experience:
It all started the moment the doctor said, “This child will suffer. If this child makes it to term and this is a big if – I am not sure where we will start” was the moment my Mom instincts went into full gear. It was also the moment my heart cried to God. Please God provide us a miracle. When a miracle was not the plan, the toughest decision any parent could make was made; which was to end this child’s life in grace and peace. If she was born, she would feel pain, she would suffer, and she would not have quality of life. As a mother, you can’t imagine your child suffering.
So how does child euthanasia have anything to do with my daughter’s suffering? Well in my world, the loss of my daughter, although she was in the womb, is very similar to the child euthanasia controversy since we asked the same horrid question – do we allow our child to suffer with no chance of recovery? It was a question God heard for several nights.
Two lessons God laid upon my heart, at the time, was he was not going to throw the first stone and just like he hated to see my husband and I suffer he didn’t want Hope, our daughter, to suffer. The second lesson took some time for me to absorb, but God clearly showed me while volunteering at Children’s Hospital there are some things worse than death.
As for the question around legalization, let me first say if you haven’t walked in the shoes of a parent who has to make this decision, then you shouldn’t have the right to veto it or the first to cast a stone. Those who draw the line should be those who have touched, observed, and felt the line. Being a mother of what the medical field stated was a “non-viable life form”, it takes tremendous courage to draw the line. My belief is sometimes God says yes to death. It may not be the answer we want, but for whatever reason it is part of God’s plan.
Next, you may ask, instead of legalizing child euthanasia, shouldn’t we wait for a miracle? Isn’t legalizing a child’s death making us play God? Through experience, it’s become clear to me God has given parents and children the gift of intuition. Haven’t you ever heard of times when someone has waited to die until a certain person has arrived? It’s what we call our inner voice. Parents know their children and know when it is time to say goodbye or when it is time to hold on a little bit longer. Children have a great gift of perception and know when the end is drawing near. At the hospital, pediatric doctors and nurses rely on medicine, but also rely on the instinct and intuition of parents and their patients. My belief is God is the inner voice inside of us guiding us to the right answer. God’s gift to us are the signs that the end is near and we should prepare ourselves for the inevitable.
In the end I am a proponent of child euthanasia, not solely because of Hope’s story, but because when you’re faced with the dilemma of making this choice you hope you have all of the options to make an informed choice. Child euthanasia should never be an overnight decision, but if there is the correct medical guidance, counseling, and laws in place to create a humanistic, loving approach for the right scenarios then we ensure we provide a child what they deserve; which is a graceful death. The core question should not be do we legalize child euthanasia, but what is in the best interest of the child? It’s not about casting stones on either side of the coin, but rather being selfless rather than selfish in making the final decision of what is right and what is wrong for each child. It’s putting trust in God to help where the lines are gray.
In conclusion, sometimes choosing death is choosing love. Of course, I still mourn for my beautiful daughter, Hope, but know the decision to allow her to die peacefully and not suffer was in her best interest. Yes, there’s no denying it’s a tragic story, but what is more tragic is keeping a child alive who is not really living. A child who suffers tremendously every day because we don’t want to say it is time. Euthanasia won’t and shouldn’t be the answer for every child, but it should never be completely eliminated as an option when God has said it is time and when it can save children from a lifetime of undeserved pain.
Dear Hope,
We still think of you often and imagine you playing with the balloons we send up to heaven. We hope you know we miss you and a piece of us will always be broken until we see you again. It saddens us we were forced to say goodbye so early and didn’t get the chance to know you, but believe in heaven you have found healing and peace.
Thank you, Hope, for being our guardian angel and thanks for all of the signs that you still live within us. Also, thank you for understanding why we had to say goodbye. As you know, it wasn’t an easy decision, but we believe it was the best decision for you.
Love You My Daughter,
Mommy
