What happens when the love affair ends? What happens when you’ve lost that loving feeling for God?
This was a conversation I had two days ago with a dear friend of mine who said, “I know he exists, but we want different things. We are on different pages.”
I stopped in my tracks. My heart understood what my friend was feeling. Sometimes life can seem overwhelming. There have been plenty of times when God must think “Wow, Kristen you can handle a lot.”
Continually I am reminded God never promised us life would be easy. The real question is how do we stay strong when life is not going as planned? Honestly, there is no special recipe, but to mix some faith with a little trust. For me, it took several scenarios in my life such as our adoption, working with a mentor of mine, and going through career ups and downs to understand God has a bigger plan than we ever imagined. I remember once in church, the Pastor saying God’s timing is not our timing. Sometimes the story has to unravel until it is completely clear to us. For us to be parents, we had to live through a journey of doubts, fear, anger, confusion, sadness, and finally joy.
The theme is we can’t skid through life without twists, turns, and being tested. Having a relationship with God doesn’t mean we won’t be tested. When we look back many of our tests can be our biggest gifts or lessons. The question is what do we gain when we give up our own plan to follow God’s plan? For me, I had to give up naturally having a child to welcome Ryley into our lives. For me, I had to be tested in my marriage to understand the gift God gave to me. For me, I had to work a job I could do well, but wasn’t passionate about to give my family security. Oprah has said she gave up having children because she knew she couldn’t give them the time or attention needed to be a good parent.
For me, it is not about leaving God when times get tough, but holding onto him even stronger. It is not about what we give up as much as it is about realizing our destiny. You may get frustrated or be angry when life takes a turn, but without God your story may never unravel. When I’ve thought God and I were on different pages, with time it is apparent I was on the wrong page. God knew Ryley was perfect for us, but many times throughout the two year adoption process I wanted to give up thinking it was too emotionally difficult. When I’ve closed the door is when I’ve made it difficult to see what is on the other side. It makes me sick to think I may have closed the door on Ryley. My advice is to keep talking, praying, and believing in his greatness. He knows better than us the perfect plan to regain that loving feeling. It is God’s job to lead us and our job to continue the dance.
