A quote from Steven Curtis Chapman creeps into my mind often; which is “Don’t Miss the Moment.” In all of the roles I play including being my worst critic and being a perfectionist, I know this quote haunts me. Honestly, I know what Steven was feeling when he told himself he missed a moment when all his daughters wanted was to pretend going to the ball and all he wanted was for them to go to bed. He said in his need to play the Father role and being exhausted he lost the moment. As my daughter grows too fast, I don’t want to miss the moments.

The moments where she is doing her version of a dance in the family room

Where she is giggling at the bears in Brother Bear

Where she is asking me if I can jump on her jumpaline

All of these are moments marking her personality and spirit which are flying by too quickly. We have limited time to teach Ryley what we hope will be her passport in life. The goal is to not miss the moment. Before we can blink, Ryley will be a teenager and our moment to mold her will be limited. At times, I already feel like life moments are limited as Ryley fights to be Ryley.

However, the moments I fear most are not the good moments. The moments where we feed the birds on the beach, see the princesses at Disney, or sing together at bedtime. What I fear are the moments her Father and I make mistakes. The moments we argue in front of her, I become critical Mom, or the moments where we lose perspective on what is important. People ask if children are impacted by parents’ crazy moments. I use to not be able to answer this question, but then heard statements come out of my sweet girl’s mouth such as “Daddy be nice to Mommy”, “Mommy can you stop arguing”, or “Can you put your laptop away.” It stops you in your tracks.

My goal is not perfection because this will never happen, but I am also not trying to create scars which can’t be erased. Yes, Ryley needs to understand real life happens, but she also doesn’t need to be the child who grows up to say my parents ruined me. We will probably ruin Ryley in some ways, but my hope is it is not catastrophic. My hope is she cherishes her moments with us as much as we cherish our moments with her.

Right now as she leaps when I leap or shrugs when her Father shrugs, she is watching. Right now as she wants to wear make-up like Mom or be strong like Dad we know she wants to personify us. As she repeats what we say like “Keep an eye on me”, we know she is listening. She absorbs the moments. The question is are we keeping an eye on the moments or are we letting the moments fly by?