Have you ever wondered why you are where you are? For a good portion of my life, my journals asked why here, why now God? Why have me stuck in a corporate job where my heart, soul, and hands could do so much more? It wasn’t until throwing my hands up when God answered. At this point, he knew I was open to what he had to say. He first answered through the mouths of babes. At the Children’s Hospital, a survey was asked to the children and the main question was “If you could choose would you have chosen to not have cancer?” Amazingly, majority of the children at all phases of diagnosis and recovery said they’d never wish the cancer away. A five year old told me he knows who his real friends are. A thirteen year old said she understands resilience. She believes the cancer will be the worse battle she’ll ever have to fight and she was fortunate to fight it at a young age. Of course, this makes you think if a five and thirteen year old were ok having cancer shouldn’t I be ok with where I am at – right here, right now?

Then God led me to Esther. Imagine her story: she is taken to a foreign place in the middle of the night against her will, then forced to marry someone she wasn’t intending to marry, and eventually having to fight for her nation; which she knew could have ended in death. The miraculous, of course, happened and she was spared her life along with her people. The message I took from this is God knows where to plant us. There are several cases which prove this point from Rosa Parks who never knew she’d start the Civil Rights Movement to the five year old who blessed a homeless man at a Waffle House. You can never predict what God has in store for you. In the “God’s Not Dead” movie, one of the pastors said I want to be doing something important while the other pastor speaking to him said, “Some of the most important work we do seems meaningless”. Again, the lesson is perhaps instead of wondering why we’re doing what we’re doing – we should open our eyes to God and the infinite possibilities. Perhaps in your job you will have the opportunity to help a co-worker believe, maybe save a life, or listen to someone who needs a kind ear. You can never imagine bigger than God.

Sitting in a cubicle it’s difficult to not ask why there are some people who don’t have God in their heart were provided millions of dollars to use on drugs or destruction where if you had this money you’d use it for the greater good. It is human nature to think like this, but this saga is not what will set you free. What will set you free is to ask the important questions around purpose and then be patient and open to the answer. The answer will come, but you have to be willing to hear it. I remember my childish antics with my husband. His response to me one day when I said why am I not bringing change to this world like Oprah Winfrey was – maybe you have, but you are too cynical to realize it. You have no idea the extent of who you may have touched while volunteering at the Children’s Hospital. He was right. I was so consumed with what I wasn’t doing to realize what I was doing. It is one of the faults of all of us. We let jealousy, pride, selfishness, and other evil thoughts consume us when we should be focused on what we can do now in our own circumstances.

We concentrate too much on the outside world to concentrate on our inside world. If we took a second to ask God what’s happening, I know he’d answer. We just don’t ask. We assume mediocrity. Through my faith journey, I have been fortunate to observe God’s grace in many lives and stories. I can never forget the young man whose death was imminent, but he never lost his faith not even for a second. He planned his own funeral and sermons because he wanted friends of his who had never heard God’s word to hear it for the first time. He said this is my purpose. Is this story what we consider fair? Of course not. However, this young man may have more wisdom in his pinkie then most of us have in our entire being. He understood his legacy and why he was where he was. Lucky for this young man he is now in a better place, but we must ask are we in a better place? The purpose of this blog was not to depress any of us, but quite the opposite. It is to lift us up and to let us smell the coffee. It does go back to the old cliché of glass half empty or full, but more importantly it opens us up to spiritual intentions. We have to believe God’s intentions are on a bigger scale then our intentions. His intentions are global and heaven-based where our intentions are “me” based”. With evil and free will destroying our essence, he knows where his work is most needed and uses us to help him. His miracles and grace can happen anywhere from bagging groceries, to living in the projects, to fighting the worst battles of our lives. For me my worst hardships were the miscarriages, but God has used my story to talk to others who have suffered. The goal is to follow God’s plan and to be prepared for what could await us. Who knows you may be cleaning a restaurant’s floors and get the chance to stand up and be the next Rosa Parks.