In one of my book writing conferences, the instructor reminded us to have Jesus in our hearts no matter what we are doing. He said this includes driving, going to the grocery store, at work, at home, etc. My first reaction was I have to be nice in the car? I remember really wanting to take his advice, but also knowing this was a difficult task for me especially when driving is part of the equation. Having my daughter in the car helps keep my thoughts intact, but almost always fall short of perfection. For some reason when my hands touch the steering wheel I become a different person. My goal is to get somewhere quickly and grudge anyone who gets in my way. In Denver, quick is typically not an option. What makes matters worse is Denver-rites are generally nice people except when in a car. Drivers have no qualms cutting you off or no qualms driving too close. Everyone is concentrated on their own car ride.

What a great reminder of how we’re human. A good question to remind ourselves is what would Jesus do? He definitely wouldn’t be me with the bad language, attitude, sighs, and car honking. Once my daughter even said to me – Mom you need to be nice to that man. Wow, how could a four year old be so insightful when I’m not? Of course, she’s right, but at the moment it feels good to let out the frustration until reality kicks in. You come face to face with what you did and who you become. You become this crazy person. Another black mark in life and was it worth it? Who got value from honking? Did you really feel any better? Did you teach this other person a lesson? If you’re like me, the answer is no to most of those questions. What the instructor told us which runs like a record in my head is you are the best model of getting people to believe. If you are not acting Christ like, why should they?

Also, if you are so concentrated on your own car ride, how do you know you’re not the cone in the middle of the road? Perhaps, the other driver has a reason to be going fast – they are needing to get to a hospital, they are late for an important meeting, etc. Who wants to be a cone?

When I’ve had this discussion with my husband and explain frustration is what drives my behavior, he has a good response. His response is why do you care so much about what other people think instead of how you want to act and think? One of the activities he use to do is to have a dollar everyday to give to someone. He never asked and didn’t care how they spent the dollar. He said what mattered was him giving them the dollar with the right intent and from the right place. This is profound.

Again, this blog is ironic to write since there are many apologies and prayers which occur in my car. Not only prayers to get me to my location safely, but prayers my monster doesn’t roar. No one even me likes to hear my monster. Although, when the roars happen, I’ve learned to not make it contagious. This means I don’t incriminate myself, but instead let God know I royally messed up, forgive myself, and start over. At times, it feels like Monopoly because there is a lot of crossing the start line, but you have to keep playing the game. Part of playing the game, is admitting you’ve taken a wrong turn.

So if you ever see me in public and say I’m not perfect, you’re right, but I’ll never stop playing. The reason is because it’s better to try to be Christ-like then not to try at all.