What if the signs are obvious it is time to change? This is what recently happened to my family and like always when I don’t want to change, but God wants me to change the signs become”smack in the face” type signs. Even now I have to take a deep breath when I talk about this change because it is so personal and to be honest never expected this change to happen. For years, our church family was our happy place. It was walking in the doors and feeling the music to our bones. It was breathing in the words. It was volunteering with our blood, sweat, and tears. We lasted past the change of pastors because we were so passionate about what this church meant to the fabric of our lives. I remembered walking in the doors for the first time and just knowing. We had come from another church where the small group we were part of had outstretched their arms at the most difficult time in our lives and then we decided to move across town to be closer to family. At this point, we tried several churches and to my father-in-laws advice we found the church that became our second family until now.

So what was the straw in the camel’s back? Can’t say it was one thing, but it was a multitude of things which made the church lose it’s loving feeling. If you have ever lived this turmoil, perhaps you will resonate with all or a few of these items. First, when we started as members of the church, there always seemed to be something we were doing to reach the community. One of my most memorable times was the little boy who came to our Thanksgiving outreach. We went door to door at motels to invite the community to eat and for us to share our love and companionship. This little boy who could not be older than 3 or 4 said to me, “Thank you lady I was hungry.” For days I wept, but also knew we were there for a reason even if it was for just one day. More and more these in town community outreaches became less and less. Our church was good at starting ministry groups or mission trips, but the grass root efforts of the church dwindled. In my soul, the core of the church was being broken. Then came my husband’s change of heart. I believe the miscarriages were the trigger, but one day Phil came out and said…I am not feeling it anymore. He said, it’s always the same message that we are bad and God is good. Then came my small group challenge. I tried to build my faith family again and two groups literally disintegrated in less than a three month span. Yet the biggest blast to my soul was the church decided to let go of one of my favorite pastors in the church. He was one of my favorites because he was real, down to earth, and could relate to everyone who walked into the church. His departure was a financial speech, but at the same time they were funding new branch churches along with missions overseas and it hurt that we couldn’t take care of our family at home. Lastly, I believe the church use to be the door and window to anyone who wanted to walk in, but then came the new policies about signing papers to be counted as a member. It no longer felt like a church, but more of a board room quorum. To me, this whole process felt like some one had died. If you’ve ever experienced this scenario, you know what I mean. I would never wish anything bad onto this church, but had to walk away.

So what’s the point? The point of spitting out these transgressions is not so much about the issues themselves as helping others who are either struggling right now or who have walked in my shoes. Believe me, it is difficult to be a person of faith who is struggling with where to worship. However, talking with others in the community, this is a common concern. Many people lose their faith when they lose their church. It can be entirely crumbling. Our hope is you have not already crumbled.

On a good note, I don’t believe God cares where you worship as long as you are in a relationship with him. For me, I go to church because I like the message, sense of community, the energy that arises when you are in a room with others who believe, and because I like to make this commitment to God. However, I don’t think it is a requirement to have strong faith. One of the speakers I heard recently talked about the “new” church. Churches happening in restaurants and other frequently visited spots. The speaker spoke about not only being God-like in words, but in action which resonated with me. He said his restaurant/church didn’t start this way, but it organically happened. He said people in the area knew both his faith and his wife’s faith and just began to ask questions. They saw him offer meals to those less fortunate and they wanted to be a part of it. They wanted the spark he had; which he explained as Christ’s love. This whole new idea of the future church intrigued me. I know the “new” church is not for everyone, but can see how it would reach those who you couldn’t reach otherwise. To be honest, my family has not yet made this leap either, but like the concept. Like the concept of making the world a better place whatever this looks like. So, although, I am grappling with this change and not sure I have found my new church family – it is promising to me that God is still working his magic. I have not given up because believe God will lead the way and we will follow. Every generation changes, but believe he changes with us. My prayer for you if you are living this journey is to know God has better plans for you. He doesn’t want you to change what is at the core of your faith. Don’t stay somewhere because you are afraid of making the change or because you’re familiar with the status quo. Don’t give up on your faith because you don’t know where to turn. What God wants is for you to trust him and to not walk away every time it gets tough. Change is difficult, but sometimes change happens because there is something more fitting or profound around the corner.