22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
One emotion I don’t handle well is shock. I thought everything was on track until this happened. It took me off guard and my heart lost a beat. What do I do? God, please help me and my family get through this hurdle. Allow me to be strong. Keep my eyes on you instead of what society wants me to believe. Let me know we’ll be ok through the unknown, tomorrow is another day, and there is hope even when hope is hard to find. Remind me to just breathe. After the initial shock, help me get settled again. Help me find our new normal and ease my fears. I love you God!
I wasn’t expecting today’s news and my family is really sad and scared. Can you take away our sadness and fear? I like it better when things are good and I am happy. God, please let me be a warrior through both what I understand and what I don’t. Thank You God – Amen!
Shock is a difficult emotion because it comes out of the blue. While volunteering in the oncology department, it was obvious who was recently diagnosed because the look of shock and fear showed on both the child’s and family’s face. In no way, did the family ever think their child’s bruises or limping would end up being Cancer. Many children were diagnosed with ailments such as viral infections before the medical team thought Cancer. So overnight you go from thinking something small to it being something really big and overwhelming. Of course, when you first think Cancer, your mind goes to the worst outcome. So then you’re left with not only shock, but fear, and what you’re suppose to do. It is the same reaction with infidelity. It can rock you to the core and leave you not trusting what to do next. When we first heard the news that our unborn child was not forming or functioning correctly in the womb, of course, my husband and I went into complete shock. For this week, we will work on exercises to help you get out of the shock phase and being able to manage the current situation.
- Give yourself permission to pause. This means give yourself, at least, 4 or 5 days before you make any rash decisions, communicate to others, try to get on a routine, etc. Read my blog on the website called “Pause Button”
- With the change of events, write down your top three priorities and what needs to occur so you are successful in managing these priorities. The priorities should remain the same even after the shock diminishes
- Practice breathing and stretching activities; which will help your body with the physical shock.
- Do all of the research you need to do to talk to the main parties engaged in your shock. Being informed will help you feel in control of the situation again. (eg. physician, spouse, etc).
- Pray as a family so you feel connected and you invite God to be part of the solution
- Have a discussion with your family, so, you know what questions you need answered, how you want to work through the shock together, how to build confidence and trust, and next steps. It won’t be an easy discussion, but it will bond you through the experience. When families have had these types of discussions, I have seen them come up with their own family rules such as having a bible verse for the day or spouses not spending time with the opposite sex without the other spouse present.
- Depending on the reasons for the shock, determine what you need to work on personally to cope. This may mean going to a counselor.
- Go on a walk and find a private place to scream or to hit the ground
- Concentrate on how you are allowing society to guide your thoughts and ask God to help you to keep your eyes on him. For instance, with Cancer everyone goes to the worst which brings you anxiety, but there are many survival stories these days which could be your story.
- Ask God to give you peace no matter the scenario. (For me, I had to ask God to give me closure on a few scenarios and gracefully he did)
- Don’t give up. No matter what you do – don’t give up. If you have to write about it, comfort yourself, go in denial for a little bit until you can handle it, seek help, become a hermit for a day or two – this is ok. Give yourself permission to be human.
- Have your child tell you a story and have them include shock as a theme in the story.
- Have 1:1 time with your child so they have the opportunity to say what they think and what are their questions.
- Allow your child to play and observe them in their play, so, you can observe any residual effects of the shock.
- Find whoever is your child’s support team (eg. child life specialists, counselors, teachers, etc.) and begin to build these relationships, so, your child has a large network to handle the shock.
- Find safe means for your child to find an outlet for the feelings of shock (eg. pounding on drums, martial arts classes, etc.)
- Practice breathing and relaxation techniques with your child.