In His Eyes

His eyes say so much.  Sometimes when I look at him he sees right through me. His eyes are gentle and knowing. Yet he loves me completely. He knows me inside and out. He doesn’t judge me and every day without conviction he runs to me like he won the lottery. Never a day goes by he isn’t excited to be my friend. His love is unconditional. All day he just waits until the door opens and we see each other again. At night, he cuddles tight. He perches at the end of the bed like the king of the hill. Our conversation is more of a bark then a word yet we understand each other. It is all in his eyes.

When I am sick or want to throw in the towel, you can hear his sigh. When I am gone and return, he does his butt dance. When neither one of us want to wake up, he gives me the one-eyed look. Together we’ve been to top of mountains, in back hill trails, jumped in puddles, leaped through snow, and played tug of war. He was there when no one else was. He never gave up on me. It is all in his eyes.

The day we first met will never be forgotten. Him jumping about with spit and vinegar. Me just trying to find my furry soul mate. He was perfect. He had not yet grown into his wrinkles or his high-pitched squeak. He was bigger than life.  A giant ball in his mouth he would prance around with glory. Now his face full of grey. His hips taking the toll of life’s pressures. No more tricks. Sure, there has been moments of holes in the ground, stuffing on the floor, gas attacks, slobbering anxieties, crushed ornaments, bitten potatoes; which is life. Yet, more importantly there has been moments of love at its fullest. Who would know on a sunny day in October a powerful relationship would start. He would become one of my best friends. It is all in his eyes.

This gift from God would live through business trips, a sister joining the family, and plenty of jerky treats and birds on the fence.  A place in Colorado would be his home, but he’d meet plenty of people along his journey.  If he were to talk in people talk, I’m sure he’d say he has lived a blessed life. His size could bring fear, but his heart brings the gift of trust, joy, hope, calmness, and greatness. To know him, you know life at its best. It is all in his eyes.

When I think of this beautiful, one of a kind creature – I sometimes imagine he is Jesus lying in a ball on the floor. Our time together would be the same. Our conversation would not change. All I would have to do is look in Jesus’s eyes and at this moment could feel his presence and understand his purpose. He would be bigger than life. He would see my life with wrinkles and all, but never turn away. He may bark, but would never bite. He would pout with me, shout with me, and never doubt me. We would live life together with all of its scratches, bugs, and growls. It is all in his eyes.

In his eyes – he would never stop believing in me or accepting me for me. Sure, he would want me around more, but no matter how many times I’ve turned my back, gone on vacation, or forgotten to say hi – he’d be there. He’d be there when we lost a child, had a dreadful interview, or when we questioned why me why now. He’d be there when I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror. He’d be there through infidelities, financial woes, family discrepancies, and dreams unlived. He’d teach me about forgiveness, trust, goodness of character, passion, what it means to be in heaven, and caring until my heart hurts. He’d show me what it means to be a loving parent, a loyal wife, and a compassionate friend. In all accounts, I am not perfect. I complain, judge, am prideful, feel sorry for myself, lose sleep, think the worse, talk too much, get frustrated, don’t appreciate what I have, become greedy, am jealous, and not always wise. However, with all my flaws, sins, and ugliness, he sees me as beautiful. He forgets my humanness and remembers my wonderfulness. He will always be better than I could dream of being. Yet in his eyes I am perfect. I am his top dog; which, in my eyes,  is the best place to be.

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