Consulting, grocery shopping, meals, bed time routines, book writing, classes, cleaning, exercising, family time, spouse time, daughter time, friend time, me time – the list goes on and on. How do you do it? Does your head spin thinking about it?

For me, it is not concentrating on how to do it, but concentrating on what is important. When people ask about mommy and daughter time, it is about quality of time even if there isn’t quantity of time. Quality of time to build a relationship. Quality time to love, learn, laugh, and experience life together. The rule is evening time after six is my daughter’s time until she goes to bed. Everything else will be there after words. Without this priority, she will think she is not worth it; which is not the intended message or what she needs to think.

Then there is the dilemma of taking care of yourself. I’ve heard women say their weight is due to several pregnancies, being tired, or focusing on children time. Again, you can make every excuse or you can focus on what will fuel you. As you can imagine, it is not fun to wake up at 6 am to exercise, but for some people it is a necessity to take care of what God gave you. It’s more about the journey, then perfection. It is the boost which lets you run on the playground and stay young. It is a gift to our children. A gift of energy and health. It shows our children taking care of who you are is as important as taking care of others. Taking care of not only our bodies, but our spirits and our minds.

Spouse time also can’t be neglected. As a woman who has been married for several years and who is no longer a spring chicken, it can be hard to always find that loving feeling, but if you lose it then you no longer have a marriage. Both men and women need to feel wanted, needed, and to be intimate. Without intimacy, you are two people under the same roof. You are not a partnership. A healthy marriage shows children it is ok to love each other and respect each other. Your relationship is your children’s first view to marriage and how they will treat their spouse someday. One couple who were nearing divorce agreed to having sex every night for a year. For many couples, this may not be realistic, but the couple said it changed their perspective about intimacy and they began to be excited about the time together every night. They said it made them hold hands more, giggle more, and be kind more to each other. Several statistics say the more sex you have the younger you stay due to the endorphins, your mental state, and health benefits. Just having these benefits is worth it, right?

As for friend time, it is what can keep you sane. There are some weeks which meeting up with my friends for a Friday night jaunt is what makes the week doable. If it’s been a difficult work week knowing friends are there is what can put a smile on your face. True friends don’t care about deadlines, new contracts, etc. All they care about is you.

Last but not least is God’s time. In my life, he is considered a friend and as a friend I want to make sure there is time for prayer, conversations, and his teachings. Some days it may only be 10-15 minutes we get to spend together, but it is important time. How we spend this time can differ from writing, sometimes painting, other times meditating, or however we spend our time together. The important part is this relationship doesn’t get stale behind dusty cobwebs.

To respect our relationships, my family has made a pact every year to schedule a family trip, a husband and wife trip, and a friend’s trip. Understandably not everyone can afford all of these trips, but do think prioritizing is important. Each trip has a different purpose to bring us closer to those who matter the most. You always hear life is short, but it becomes a reality when you have a child. It seems like yesterday my daughter was born and now she is going to kindergarten next year. The point is not to wait until tomorrow to build your relationships including your relationship with yourself. Spend the time now to live your passions, dance in puddles with your child, be intimate with your husband, have a coffee date with your friend, and laugh with God. If you don’t, you will find life has passed you by. Talking to people at the end of their years, it’s a shame when you hear…I wish I did ___. This does not need to be you. However, it will become you if you don’t prioritize what is important. It’s easy to say I can’t, I won’t, I don’t want to when what you need to say is: I can, I will, and I shall. Sure, it’s not easy, but no one said life would be easy. You have limited time to experience life, so, it’s important you make the most of it. To do this, you need to make task lists and goals and make sure these items are listed everyday in what you’re going to do. Start out small with a 90 day goal list and expand the list over time. This means you need to concentrate your time on what fuels you and focus on what matters. All else is fluff and won’t help you live your intended purpose. All else takes away your energy instead of fueling you for another day. Sure, doing it all, will cause chaos, a lot of driving around, craziness, and at times sleepiness, but it will also bring satisfaction, accomplishment, and empowerment. I love being able to model what my daughter can do someday. The great thing is you also can do this for your children – you just have to stay fueled and focused!